Simple: Lent

I didn't plan to observe Lent this year.

I guess it's that renegade reformed evangelical in me that thinks I can get away from the Church Calendar whenever I feel like it. Maybe it's just being busy, or, lazy. But for whatever reason, I pushed pretty hard against Lent this year-- that uncomfortable season of sacrifice and reliance on God before Easter.

To put it eloquently, I just wasn't feelin' it.

Then Covid.

Well, before that, my brother.

"Hey, are you doing anything special for Lent this year?" he asked one day during our Sunday afternoon Google Chat session. "It really meant a lot to us last year when you would let us know you were praying for us."

Oh, ha, that.

I admitted I wasn't doing a prayer chain with the kids this year, or crafts. I admitted that I was mostly wound up trying to figure out homeschooling for my daughter next year. I was, uh, actually too busy for Lent, though I feebly threw out that I was "cutting back" on social media.

Graciously, my brother nodded and let it pass.

(And, it's okay, you can go ahead and laugh at the irony of everything I just said).

THEN Covid.

I was actually in the middle of a few of those feeble days of "cutting back" when I started seeing headlines on search engine sites and my husband's work had rumors of staying at home. All cutting back thrown out, I jumped back on social media to be dumbfounded at what a reckless virus was doing to entire countries.

Within three days I went from making a social distancing joke to a friend to canceling all social engagements on my calendar, to wondering when I could go grocery shopping, to wondering what would be there when I did.

It felt laughable to give up social media for Lent now, since seeing anyone in person became impractical.

But Lent. Well, Lent itself just became more important than ever.

After talking with my brother I felt appropriately goaded to beginning a prayer chain with the kids again. And while that small act felt important, it was the season I really needed: The season of lack, the season of sacrifice, the season of what one thinks is essential taken away and the realization of what actually is embraced.

Because it's all you have left.

I haven't even felt lack, per se, not physically. But I have seen much of what I thought was very, very important taken away:

my need to be out of the house.

my need to find "things to do" for the kids.

my need to be very busy to feel productive.

my need to do a great deal of work and writing while being a full time SAHM.

my need to have 24-hour access to a grocery store for "just a few things."

my need for paper products of all shapes and sizes.

my need for convenience.

In the words of the now-famed meme of Andy Crouch's tweet: "Honestly I hadn't planned on giving up quite this much for Lent."

As each one of these things were peeled away on different days, I felt by turns frantic and subdued; anxious and accepting. I have long known that many of these "needs" are distractions in my heart (maybe not the paper products, but you know, American conveniences) and now it seems, I would have, and have, the opportunity to practice life without them.

Suddenly I became so thankful for Lent. Not because it is pleasant, but because it is normal. Lent, as an entire season, reminds us that lack, bereavement, and yes, sacrifice (willing or otherwise) is actually how life works and how we humans work. We are distractable creatures, ever distracted, ever desiring control, ever twisting out of God's arms to try and get the upper hand. And it takes time away, intentional time away, to remember that He and His ways, are all we ever needed. Even for the non-Christian, I would say it is a great reckoning with what we have consider important with what actually is.

Lent as a season, I think, gives us that. It prepares our heart, even gives us a kind of story narrative to follow, for when we are hit with seasons of uncontrollable Lent--when much is taken away from us that we had not planned.

So my family finally started celebrating Lent.

I made a prayer chain out of purple construction with the names of loved ones on them to pray for every day. I chose a lavender candle for us to light, because it smells good, my 2 year-old son listens better when he gets to look at fire, and it reminds us that God is our light in the darkness. I read stories from "The Jesus Storybook Bible" because it's written to remind us that all of the sad things since the fall of creation have been met with the goodness of God, and the stories all came true in Jesus's death on the cross.

Right now we're actually reading "David and Goliath" a lot, because it's the kids' favorite story, and they want to hear again and again and again how a little boy defeated a giant, and how one day a different little boy would come to slay death.

We're reading about Jesus raising a little girl from the dead and shushing grownup disciples because he loved little people that much.

And the kids REALLY love the stories of fish-- how Jonah was a silly man who thought he could run from God (and the God caught HIM in a FISH!), and how later, Jesus hung out with fishermen to catch people with hope and calm storms and fears.

Ours is a simple, simple Lent. But we read these stories of hope in the midst of danger, light in darkness, and the waiting, waiting, waiting for salvation that humanity has always longed for, and we talk about Lent--the season of quiet and waiting and sacrifice and sometimes yes, great sadness--and how excited we are to wait for Easter.

I know we don't know how long this "Covid-Lent" will last, but right now, this Lent, this season, is giving me a reminder to always, always, always wait for, look for, and expect, Hope.