REST Day 13: Can You Just NOT?
My daughter is teaching me so much about REST through her naptimes.
Her naptimes are epic, the stuff of legend, in their complexity. What I can't understand is why a busy kid, who bounces, colors, draws, sings, eats, run, and plays all.day.long. doesn't want a rest time in the middle of the day. You know? It's like you would think this would be so refreshing and helpful; a nice close to the morning, and a boost for the rest of the afternoon.
But to her it's like pulling teeth, hanging-by-your-toenails stuff. And while generally she submits pretty well to the hour of quiet I've established, often she does anything but REST. She's playing trains, trying on clothes, changing CDs, looking at books, etc.
Normally this is kind of okay... until her obsession with "doing" stuff becomes downright disobedient-- or destructive.
I came in her room yesterday to find a book (thankfully one that wasn't too important) shredded, and her backpack, which I had confiscated for earlier disobedience, opened on the floor (yes, if you're wondering, that's called a #parentfail).
Further talking and discipline ensued. I remember saying, "Can you just NOT during rest time? I'm not sure I understand your constant need to be moving and playing during a quiet hour."
Sometimes when you're a parent, your words come out and boomerang you in the face.
Oh goodness, this is SO me.
I've never rested very well. For many years as a child I was a nervous sleeper, hating naps and bedtimes for the loneliness they brought. I missed family and friends to play with.
Oddly though, as I got older, even as my sleep rhythms improved the busyness continued as work and workouts. I would very occasionally take days, like Sunday to absolutely rest, but the majority of the time I didn't. I kept moving, working, trying to stay skinny, trying to achieve something, just so I wouldn't feel lonely.
In quiet days of motherhood I turned to my phone to fill the tedious days of laundry, cooking, and feed the baby. The busyness I engaged in on my phone--social media--gave me a taste of the busy work life I kept before kids, the pace of a driven young woman.
And as I've dropped some of THAT busyness in this 40 day period of REST, I realize I am good at finding distractions and numbing agents. Like my daughter in her bed, I can try to keep myself busy even when God has provided times and seasons of rest.
But this season IS a little quiet now, and I don't want to miss it.
JOURNAL PROMPT:
If you used social media as a time/busyness filler, how does being off and away from it make you feel? Are you trying to replace it with other busyness or have you found time or space to do some other things you feel are important?
Her naptimes are epic, the stuff of legend, in their complexity. What I can't understand is why a busy kid, who bounces, colors, draws, sings, eats, run, and plays all.day.long. doesn't want a rest time in the middle of the day. You know? It's like you would think this would be so refreshing and helpful; a nice close to the morning, and a boost for the rest of the afternoon.
But to her it's like pulling teeth, hanging-by-your-toenails stuff. And while generally she submits pretty well to the hour of quiet I've established, often she does anything but REST. She's playing trains, trying on clothes, changing CDs, looking at books, etc.
Normally this is kind of okay... until her obsession with "doing" stuff becomes downright disobedient-- or destructive.
I came in her room yesterday to find a book (thankfully one that wasn't too important) shredded, and her backpack, which I had confiscated for earlier disobedience, opened on the floor (yes, if you're wondering, that's called a #parentfail).
Further talking and discipline ensued. I remember saying, "Can you just NOT during rest time? I'm not sure I understand your constant need to be moving and playing during a quiet hour."
Sometimes when you're a parent, your words come out and boomerang you in the face.
Oh goodness, this is SO me.
I've never rested very well. For many years as a child I was a nervous sleeper, hating naps and bedtimes for the loneliness they brought. I missed family and friends to play with.
Oddly though, as I got older, even as my sleep rhythms improved the busyness continued as work and workouts. I would very occasionally take days, like Sunday to absolutely rest, but the majority of the time I didn't. I kept moving, working, trying to stay skinny, trying to achieve something, just so I wouldn't feel lonely.
In quiet days of motherhood I turned to my phone to fill the tedious days of laundry, cooking, and feed the baby. The busyness I engaged in on my phone--social media--gave me a taste of the busy work life I kept before kids, the pace of a driven young woman.
And as I've dropped some of THAT busyness in this 40 day period of REST, I realize I am good at finding distractions and numbing agents. Like my daughter in her bed, I can try to keep myself busy even when God has provided times and seasons of rest.
When I am tempted to move back into the social media vortex, I ask myself, like my daughter, "Can you just NOT? Can you not just REST? What is so wrong and needful for you that you have to keep busy and spinning your wheels?
But this season IS a little quiet now, and I don't want to miss it.
JOURNAL PROMPT:
If you used social media as a time/busyness filler, how does being off and away from it make you feel? Are you trying to replace it with other busyness or have you found time or space to do some other things you feel are important?
I completely understand the inability to rest. I have always been a doer. To sit still was anathema: there's way too much to do! But over the years having many children and developing some health issues that required me to rest, I have developed a daily habit of quiet rest time for myself and my children in our home. It is a time to be alone and quiet: those are my only requirements. Having a large family and being an introvert demands this for me, and I have seen that my children need their own down time too. Some, like your sweet daughter, buck me every single day, but we persist - just as you are. They can read, color, draw, play with their animals, listen to an audio book, anything that is quiet and individual. This time is special to me especially because it is when I rest, read, think, pray. Not work. I think something can be said for taking time daily to rest and be still. Your daughter isn't liking it now, but be consistent, and she will come to look forward to this special time of day when she can just be. Maybe have a special book or quiet activity that she can only do at rest time. My daughters love to do Legos then or paint. Then we finish up the hour with a snack. It's quite lovely, and on days when we aren't home during rest time, everyone goes to bed a little earlier that night.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good word, Keri. Not only is rest a physical need, but taking time to just "be" is essential to our mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Yes, the "bucking" is totally real right now, but we continue. Thanks :)
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